


Don't you go and carry on with your life

by Abbypd



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Bit of angst I guess?, M/M, Mentions of Rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-22 20:37:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3742795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abbypd/pseuds/Abbypd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I feel sick.” Calum said, pouting at Ashton who was holding his door open because he didn’t want to get up.<br/>“I know, that’s why you need to get out of the cab and get into your bed.” Ashton tried to reason<br/>“I bet you’d like that?”<br/>“What?”<br/>“To get into my bed.”<br/>“No. You need to get into your bed. I’m going to my own.” The blond said, taking Calum’s now outstretched arm and pulling him up, letting him wrap his arm around his shoulder and leading him towards his house.</p><p>Or where Calum gets drugged and Ashton saves him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You're the cherry, I'm a cigarette

When Calum came back from the restroom, Luke was not sitting at their table anymore; their drinks the only proof they had been there at all. The raven haired boy searched the dark room knowing it wouldn’t be hard to find his giant younger friend in the crowd. It didn’t take long for him to spot a blond quiff on the dancefloor, his hands on the hips of a pretty petite girl who was dancing a bit too close to him, leaving the blond grinning like he had just won the lottery. Calum didn’t pay the two too much attention, instead throwing his drink back and walking towards the dancing crowd to find his own partner for the night.

 

Luke and him, they had fallen in this routine where they’d go out drinking every Saturday night together ever since the younger boy’s eighteenth birthday. They’d start the night with drinking a bit, since they both were too shy to dance and talk to girls sober, and then they’d make their way towards the dancefloor and dance with random girls. Sometimes they took a girl home, sometimes they only took one to the restroom and other nights they’d just leave it at dancing and innocent flirting. 

They weren’t players, they never promised the girls anything; they just wanted some fun like every other teenager.

 

It didn’t take long at all for a girl to come up to him and wink. Calum smiled back at her and that was pretty much all it took. The raven haired boy wasn’t an arrogant lad but there was no reason for him to pretend like he didn’t know he was attractive; girls had told him many times before and if they didn’t, they’d show it by flirting with him or throwing themselves at him. He didn’t mind. He didn’t mind at all.

The girl wasn’t shy at all; she threw her arms around his neck and swayed her hips in front of him to the beat of the music, biting her lip seductively and Calum smirked as he placed his hands on her hips.

Halfway in the song the girl had turned around, occasionally grinding her bum against the tall boy’s crotch; Calum was pretty sure that was not the reason he was feeling weird though.

Maybe he had too much to drink or maybe he hadn’t eaten enough before they had started but the room was swaying and Calum had a hard time keeping himself up.

The girl eventually turned around and shot him what looked like a worried look; he wasn’t sure though, everything was blurry and for a second he wondered if it was possible for someone to suddenly turn into triplets out of nowhere.

“I think I had too much to drink.” He slurred, not noticing how bad he sounded himself. He turned around and headed for the men’s room, feeling like he was going to puke soon.

As soon as he had rounded the corner, an arm wrapped around his waist, keeping him from falling face forward.

“Watch out there, we don’t want your pretty face all bloody now do we?”

Calum looked up; it was a slightly older man. He looked very… photo shopped; big muscles, shiny white teeth, hair perfectly slicked back and piercing blue eyes that didn’t seem natural considering his tanned skin.

The raven haired boy didn’t even feel it as the man turned him around, keeping his arm around his body and leading him out of the toilet again.

“You look like you’re a lot of fun.” The man started and Calum giggled shyly; he had no control over himself anymore but it didn’t matter, he didn’t register what was going on anymore anyways.

“How about you and I go have some fun at my place yeah?”

And without agreeing – or disagreeing – Calum just followed the man; he seemed nice so why not? Poor judgement had always been one of his flaws when it came to strangers.

As they headed for the door, Calum remembered Luke was still inside, not knowing where Calum was going and even though they went home with girls all the time, they always told each other they were leaving.

“Luke.” Calum mumbled, trying to get away from the man’s grip.

“What was that babe?” the man asked, not slowing down or letting Calum go.

“I need to tell Luke I am leaving.” Calum tried to get away again, but failing.

“Luke seems like he is too busy.”

The raven haired lad was too far gone to realize the man didn’t even know him and Luke, but his drunk mind still knew he had to get away. He tried escaping again, now getting a little stressed. It was like his muscles had turned into noodles and they didn’t listen to his brain at all; it was quite frustrating.

“I need to tell Luke I am leaving.” Calum repeated, a little louder this time – as if that would help.

“I said no.” the man said, tightening his grip on Calum and speeding up to get out of the club a little quicker.

Calum started to panic on the inside now, but it was like his body and mind weren’t cooperating anymore.

 

The moment they stepped outside, he felt another hand on his shoulder but he didn’t feel it until the man that had his arm around his hip let go.

“Hands off, blondie; I saw him first.”

“He doesn’t look like he wants to go home with you though.” A calm voice said. Calum turned to see who the voice belonged to.

It was a boy, not much older than Calum; three years probably. He had quite long, dirty blond hair that was styled to one side. It was wavy and pretty and Calum wanted to touch it. His eyes were hard to see in the dark but they looked kinda green and nice. 

“That’s because he’s drunk. Trust me, three seconds ago he was begging me to take him home and make him feel good.” The man smirked and Calum could feel his stomach turn in his belly.  That was not what had happened; that man was lying.

The boy’s hand was still on Calum’s shoulder and he gently tightened his grip a little to gain his attention.

“Do you want to go home with this man?” he asked, looking directly into Calum’s big eyes with tiny pupils.

“No.” the boy blurred out, a little scared of what was going to happen next but too drunk to keep it in.

“Let him go.” The blonde said, sounding dangerous now. He had said it a lot louder than the rest of the conversation, and the man looked around to see that their little discussion had gained a bit too much attention from the people around them.

“Fine.” He said through gritted teeth.

“But I will get back to you next time boy.” He warned before letting Calum go and stomping off.

As soon as the man was out of sight, Calum doubled over and threw up on the street, earning some disapproving sounds from the people who had been watching. He felt the hand that had been on his shoulder rubbing soothing circles into his back; it felt nice.

“Are you okay?” his rescuer asked as he wiped his mouth and stood up straight again. He sounded like he was honestly concerned and Calum felt like he could trust this guy.

“No. I am _so_ drunk.”

He started giggling as soon as he had said it, he sounded like a fourteen year old white girl.

The boy shot him a small smile.

“I think you are more than just drunk.”

Calum shot the boy a confused look, not understanding what he was saying but he shrugged it off when the boy proposed to bring him home.

“I need to tell Luke I am leaving.” He said for the third time this night, but this time, somebody actually listened.

The boy nodded and offered Calum his hand.

“Let’s go find him then.” He said as Calum took his hand and let himself be lead back inside the building. The raven haired boy was pretty glad the stranger had taken his hand instead of wrapping his arm around his waist like the man before him had done.

 

\---

 

Luke had been a little suspicious at first but it didn’t take long for the blond boy to convince Calum’s best friend. He hadn’t heard what the two were talking about, but he trusted both of them enough to just wait for the stranger to bring him home.

He was still holding on to the boy’s hand for dear life despite it being warm, making their hands a bit clammy. He didn’t let go though, afraid he’d fall over or get lost without anyone or anything to hold onto.

“Are you sure I don’t need to come home with you?” Luke checked when his rescuer was about to turn around and take Calum with him.

“No, go enjoy your company.”

“Text me when you’re home safe.”

“Ha, you know how I text when I’m drunk.” He mumbled, just loud enough for the two blond boys to hear, causing the stranger to giggle.

“Ready?”

“Ready.” Calum nodded, not thinking twice before following a boy he had just met outside the club and into a cab.

The blond boy named an address and it took Calum a minute or two to realize that was actually _his_ address.

“How do you know my address?” He slurred, making the boy giggle softly.

“Your friend told me.” He said, giggling at Calum’s expression again, and Calum got lost in the thought of how much he liked that sound.

“I don’t even know your name.” Calum said.

“Ashton.”

“Huh?”

“My name.” the boy chuckled.

“It’s Ashton.”

“Oh right. Calum.”

He listened to Ashton repeating his name out loud; a lot of people did that when they first heard his name since it wasn’t a very common one but Calum definitely liked it a thousand times better when Ashton said it.

 

Now that Calum was finally sitting down and out of the club, the tiredness came kicking in, leaving him resting his head on the boy’s – Ashton, he knew his name now – shoulder.

“Can you wake me when we get home?” he asked, and he closed his eyes before even waiting for an answer.

“Sure.” Ashton chuckled.

“I like your laugh.” Calum said without realizing he said it out loud. It was okay though; it was true, wasn’t it?

“Thanks.” Ashton softly said, as if he didn’t want to disturb the tired boy from falling asleep.

 

It felt as if he had only fallen asleep two minutes ago when Ashton gently shook him in order to wake him up.

The tiny bit of sleep hadn’t done him much good; he felt possibly worse than before.

“I feel sick.” Calum said, pouting at Ashton who was holding his door open because he didn’t want to get up.

“I know, that’s why you need to get out of the cab and get into your bed.” Ashton tried to reason

“I bet you’d like that?”

“What?”

“To get into my bed.”

“No. _You_ need to get into your bed. I’m going to my own.” The blond said, taking Calum’s now outstretched arm and pulling him up, letting him wrap his arm around his shoulder and leading him towards his house.

“Keys.” He said, holding out his hand and waiting patiently for Calum to give them to him so he could unlock the door for him.

The raven haired boy watched as Ashton unlocked his door and followed him inside the house, letting himself drop on the couch as soon as he had the change. Ashton stood in front of him, crossing his arms over his chest and sighing.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Go to bed.”

“I don’t think I’ll survive the stairs.”

“I’m sure you will.”

“Why can’t you stay and help me?”

“You don’t even know me.” Ashton tried to reason.

“So why did you bother bringing me home then?” and Calum felt pretty proud for being able to come back so strong despite the alcohol in his veins.

The boy looked like he was thinking of an answer and then decided he was not going to argue with a drunk boy he had just met.

“Go to bed Cal. I’ll tell Luke to check on you tomorrow.” He took Calum’s phone out of his pocket – how did he get that anyways? – and texted Luke’s phone number to himself, placing Calum’s phone down on the table as soon as he was done.

The raven haired lad watched as Ashton walked towards his door, trying to come up with an excuse to make Ashton stay.

“Wait!”

The blonde stopped dead in his tracks, turning around and watching Calum curiously.

“What if I die?”

“You won’t die.”

“But what if I do? What if I slip on the stairs?”

“You won’t.” Ashton reassured him, trying to hide the fond smile that was creeping on his face.

“Your fingerprints will be all over me and you’ll be charged with murder. If you stay, you can call the police as soon as I die and they’ll believe you if you say it was an accident and you’ll be a free man.”

Ashton chuckled, rolling his eyes at Calum.

“You shouldn’t watch so many detective movies Cal. Go to bed.”

He turned around for the second time but the drunk boy didn’t give up so easily.

“Please Ash.”

And apparently, that was all it took.

The blonde turned around and sighed.

“Okay. But I am not sleeping on that shitty couch for you.”

“You can sleep in my bed.” Calum giggled, not realizing what he had just said.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea seeing the state you are in.”

“Well, you don’t have much choice, it’s either in my bed or on the couch so…” Calum trailed of.

“And I am straight, so you don’t have to worry about that.”

“Right.”

“Well, let’s get you to bed then.” Ashton said, pulling Calum up for what probably was the thousandth time since they had met.

Ashton took Calum’s hand in his and lead him up the stairs and even it was both funny and weird that a stranger was taking him to his own bedroom, he didn’t comment on it.

 

As soon as the two had reached his double bed, he let himself fall on top of it, falling in only a matter of seconds, missing how Ashton groaned and started undressing him. He also missed how Ashton grumbled something about this being the biggest mistake he’d ever made in his life while getting undressed himself and crawling in bed next to a sleeping Calum.


	2. Chasing after midnight with you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I know this is REALLY short but it's a bit to build the tension I guess? I promise the rest will be longer :)
> 
> I guess it doesn't really matter anyways, either you get like four (I'm not sure how many there will be, it's just an example okay) short chapters or three longer chapters soo....
> 
> Don't hate me for this short ass chapter.

He had no idea how late it was when he felt movement next to him. The blanket was lifted up a tiny bit and when he opened his eyes he saw Ashton looking at him like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Sorry, didn’t want to wake you up.” He smiled apologetic.

“Thought you were gonna stay.” Calum slurred. He wasn’t as dizzy as he was before he went to bed and the whole room didn’t loop like a rollercoaster like before but he still didn’t trust himself with sitting up so he stayed where he was.

“I figured you’d freak out tomorrow waking up next to a boy.” Ashton smirked down at the pouting Calum.

The raven haired boy snorted.

“Of course I won’t.”

"Right" Ashton said, crossing his arms over his naked chest, sending Calum an expecting look.  
"Just come back to bed with me."  
The raven haired boy didn't really realize what he had said until the blond raised his eyebrows. He started giggling and threw the blanket back, waiting for Ashton to come back.   
"Cuddle?" he tried, his eyes big and bottom lip pouting.  
"You're still really drunk aren't you?" the blonde asked, shaking his head while giggling and walking back towards the bed.  
"No, you're just really pretty."  
"I thought you said you were straight..." Ashton shot the boy on the bed a challenging look, he only shrugged.  
"First time for everything."  
"Right" ashton said again, very obviously not knowing how to handle this situation.

“Come on” Calum whined, patting the empty, still warm space next to him. He was practically begging but he didn’t care, he always got cuddly when he was drunk.

“Cal, I am not straight.”

“And I am not sober, which means I simply want to cuddle, nothing else. Unless you really want to I don’t know.” He said, dragging out the last word and chuckling.

“Okay, but you have me to promise you won’t hate me tomorrow morning.” Ashton said, ignoring the second part of what the drunk boy had just said.

“Of course I won’t.”

Ashton didn’t seem too convinced but Calum didn’t see what his problem was.

“You won’t remember tomorrow. Someone drugged you Cal, you won’t remember anything.” He said the last part softly, not sure if the raven haired boy had already figured it out or not. The boy shrugged and grabbed his phone, opening his recorder and talking to it.

“I, Calum Hood, solemnly swear I am up to no good.” A giggle followed.

“And I promise that I will not hate Ashton… what’s your last name?”

“Irwin.”

“I promise I will not hate Ashton Irwin for cuddling with me.”

He ended the record and tossed his phone aside.

“Can you come and cuddle now?”

The blonde rolled his eyes but finally gave in and crawled back into bed, right next to Calum, facing him. The tanned lad gently pushed against his chest so he lay on his back and he shuffled so he was curled up against his side, his right arm on top of his chest while Ashton’s right arm wrapped around his frame, holding him close while Calum’s fingers started tracing patterns into his rescuer’s skin. He could feel and hear Ashton’s breath and it was so comfortable he knew he would fall asleep soon.

 

“What would’ve happened if that guy had taken me home?” Calum asked after about ten minutes of silence, sounding almost sober even though he wasn’t even close to being sober.

He wasn’t sure if Ashton was still awake; if he was he took his time to come with an answer.

“I don’t know.” He eventually went with.

“You do though.” Calum mumbled. He knew the answer too, he just needed some confirmation from Ashton, which he had gotten.

His brain couldn’t really progress it though and soon enough his eyelids fell shut and his hand stopped moving on top of Ashton’s skin.

“Yeah.” Ashton protectively kissed the top of the boy’s head.

“I do.”


	3. Don't shut me down now

He could tell he was waking up; he was in that weird world between a dream and reality where you know you are in a dream and you know you have to end the story of your own imagination in order to begin a new day, even if you want nothing but to stay in that dream – and in bed.

He wanted to turn so he could lie on his other side, but he was in this weird position he had never woken up in before. His arm was lying higher than the rest of his body and the surface it was resting on was warm and… moving?

The boy carefully opened one eye to see a pair of hazel orbs looking his way, concern very obvious hidden in them. Calum didn’t pay too much attention to the beautiful eyes or the face they belonged too, his gaze looked down to where his fingers were on a collarbone, a flat chest and stomach supporting his arm and he shot up, grabbing his head with one hand because the sudden movement hurt _a lot._

“What the fuck dude?!” he yelled as he pushed against the boy’s side to create some distance between the two of them.

“You promised you wouldn’t get mad” the boy mumbled, knowing very well Calum had no idea what he was talking about.

“What the fuck?” he repeated, eyes big and confused.

“Will you let me explain?” Ashton tried.

“No!” Calum yelled, feeling bad when Ashton flinched but not bad enough to take it back.

“Get out!” His loud voice hurt his own, hungover head but he didn’t care.

He watched as the blond hastily got up, following his every move and letting his eyes take in his body; the body he had used as a pillow for the night, he realized.

He was staring at his toned back, trying to remember what had happened last night and to figure out whether he should be jealous of the stranger’s body or impressed – probably both.

The raven haired boy’s face softened a little when he saw the boy grabbing his clothes which were neatly folded, Calum’s clothes on a neat pile next to them.

He stayed silent while the boy got dressed despite his curiosity. Once the boy was headed for the door, the raven haired boy opened his mouth to ask the only thing that matter to him right now.

“Did we sleep together?”

“No.” came the answer. The boy didn’t turn around as he said it, avoiding eye contact.

The kiwi boy kept his mouth shut, until the stranger was gone, sighing as he heard the front door fall shut and turning so he was lying on his stomach, groaning into his pillow loudly.   

 

\---

 

Calum was on his couch, bowl of cereal in his lap as he watched a rerun of a football game he had missed last Friday. He wasn’t really watching though, he was way too confused and way, way too many questions were occupying his mind.

 What had happened last night? Why couldn’t he remember anything? In all his twenty years, it had _never_ happened that he couldn’t remember _anything._ Usually he could still remember flashes of the night before, no matter how much alcohol he had consumed; this – not knowing – it was scary.

 

The thing was, Calum just really wanted to know why a _boy_ had woken up next to him. If it had been a girl, he would’ve shrugged it off, figuring they had probably slept together but this was different. Okay, he had to admit, he had known for quite a while that he wasn’t _completely_ straight. That didn’t make it any easier to accept that he had taken a boy home and had _cuddled_ him.

 

Maybe he was just overreacting, maybe it was because he couldn’t fucking _remember_ and maybe he already felt sorry even though the boy had only left an hour ago. The thing was, he had felt sorry as soon as he had told the boy he couldn’t explain the situation. He kinda felt like a dick, but it didn’t matter anymore, did it?

 

After the game was over and his brain still hadn’t stopped working overtime, Calum went upstairs, grabbed his phone and his guitar and browsed the internet to find the chords to the song he wanted to cover next.

 

See, Calum had this hobby where he would post his acoustic covers on Youtube. He had like 300 subscribers and he was so damn proud if a cover had over 500 views and even though he knew it would never get him famous or whatever, he still had fun doing it and that was pretty much all that mattered.

 

He had decided to cover one of his favourite songs of the moment; drunk by Ed Sheeran. He knew it already was kinda old but sometimes he would just be in the mood for slow, acoustic songs and he knew everybody loved Ed, even the metal heads who’d never admit it.

He practised for like ten minutes when he decided to record himself to make sure it was good enough to record and post on the internet.

 

His phone had a lot of his own recordings and he had heard all of them plenty of times, but on top of the list was a record he had never seen before – which wasn’t that strange since he had apparently recorded only nine hours earlier that day. Curious and also a bit nervous for what it was, he touched the play button.

 

_“I, Calum Hood, solemnly swear I am up to no good.”_

_“And I promise that I will not hate Ashton… what’s your last name?”_

_“Irwin.”_

_“I promise I will not hate Ashton Irwin for cuddling with me.”_

 

The raven haired boy stared at his phone for about three minutes as if it had just fallen into his hands from space, his guitar long forgotten.

He played it again, noticing how incredibly drunk he sounded, his giggle at least an octave higher than he’d usually laugh. Ashton sounded amused and even though Calum did not know him at all, he could still hear a bit of fondness in his voice, making Calum smile.

And why had he recorded that? Why had he felt the need to make sure he’d know this the next morning?

If he hadn’t known any better he’d say he and Ashton were actually friends – which was stupid because Ashton had only said his last name – but Calum sounded so relaxed and so comfortable and not just because he was drunk.

Maybe he was looking into this too much, maybe he just heard things that weren’t there and maybe he should just stop questioning his entire existence because fuck, he was being really pathetic right now.

 

\---

 

One of Calum’s longest and most confusing Sunday was finally coming to an end, and he had done nothing even remotely productive all day. He hadn’t recorded the song and he had only managed to get himself off the couch to eat something or go to the toilet. He had been bored all day but that hadn’t motivated him to actually do something.

It was almost eleven o’clock when his phone rang, and without having to check, he knew it was Luke, because Luke would always check on him after a night of heavy drinking.

 

“ _Hey dude, how are you?”_ Luke always managed to sound like a concerned mum, even though Calum had told him many times he was an adult and could take care of himself, but today, he actually sounded like a concerned grandmother.

“I’m fine.” He lied, knowing Luke would hear it anyways.

“ _Fine meaning you’ve got a terrible hangover?”_ the boy chuckled and Calum smiled, even though the blonde couldn’t see.

“Yup.” He said, even though the headache wasn’t that bad anymore. It would’ve hurt less by now if his brain had given him some rest today.

“ _I figured. Is Ash still there? He didn’t reply to my text…”_ Luke said, and Calum blinked a few times, as if that would help him understand the situation.

“Ash?” Did Luke call him that? They had never met the boy before right? Or had Calum just send one of his best friend’s friends away?

“ _Ashton. He texted me saying he would stay the night with you…”_

“Yeah I know who you mean, I’m just surprised you know about him.”

“ _Didn’t you talk to him?”_

“No.” Maybe he should’ve done that.

_“You didn’t send him away just like that, did you?”_

_“_ Maybe.”

“ _Seriously?”_

“What would you have done if you had woken up with a strange guy in your bed?” Calum tried to reason. He could hear his friend was disappointed in him, which didn’t make sense. The raven haired boy felt as if he had woken up in some sort of reality serie and it was not fun at all.

“ _You don’t remember anything do you?”_

Now the disappointment was replaced by pity and that probably was worse.

“No.”

Luke stayed silent for a while, leaving Calum wondering what the fuck was going on.

“Can you please tell me what happened?”

He wasn’t too sure if he wanted to hear the answer.

“ _Someone drugged you.”_ Was the only answer, as if that solved the entire puzzle that was yesterday night; and maybe it did.

Another silence followed, and for almost two minutes Calum wondered if he had to ask further or Luke would eventually start speaking again.

_“Ashton wasn’t sure but he thought someone had put something in your drink. A guy tried to take you home and when he saw you obviously didn’t want to, he saved you and brought you home safely.”_

It was Calum’s turn to keep his mouth shut and let Luke wait for a reply, a sign that he was still there. 

His friend gave him all the time he needed and he had no idea how long it had taken him to mutter a “shit” because, well, what else is there to say to finding out something like _this?_

_“Do you want me to come over or something? I don’t know everything either though, you should call Ashton if you want to know all the details.”_

“No.” Calum stated. He honestly wished he hadn’t found out about this.

‘No I am alright.”

“ _Do you want Ashton’s number”_

He hesitated for a while. He had been quite rude to the boy, why would he want to help him now?

“Yeah.

“ _Are you going to call him today?”_

“No.”

“ _Tomorrow?”_

“I don’t think so.”

A sigh.

“ _Okay, let me get you his number.”_

The paper with the number scribbled on it got tossed on his dining table as Calum got up to take some more painkillers. He walked upstairs, got changed into a tank top and shorts and ran, his brain taking in the information Luke had given him.

He ran until his lungs stung, until he had to double over with how much his stomach hurt and until his hair was wet with sweat. He stood with his hands on his knees, panting and feeling like he was about to cry; he wouldn’t though.

He wouldn’t because nothing had happened, because he couldn’t even remember the thing that hadn’t happened. Someone had saved him, so everything was alright and he was just making a scene and feeling bad for himself. He was okay.

 

Just the thought that it could have happened scared him; as a boy, Calum had never really worried about such things. He had always brushed it off when people said that boys could get raped too because he was strong and fast; it wouldn’t happen to him. And now it almost did and if Luke hadn’t told him, he wouldn’t even have known.

 

Plus the boy that had helped him might not want to talk to him or even let him apologize for this morning and thank him for the night before.

 

\---

 

“Ashton?”

“ _Who’s this?_

“Calum. Can I please talk to you?”


	4. Just hear me out now

Calum was pacing through his living room, not knowing where the energy that was radiating through his body had come from; he hadn’t slept for two nights. Well, he had slept but barely.

 

He was supposed to meet Ashton in an hour in some coffee shop just around the corner. No one ever went there, and Ashton had probably suggested it for that exact reason. Calum had been surprised when the other boy had said the name of the shop, it was Calum’s favourite place to go when he wanted to be alone; he had spent last night there as well just to think.

 

[From: Luke. 7:03pm]

_You alright mate?_

Calum read the text and placed his phone back on the table without responding. Luke had been checking on him a lot since Sunday night. He had offered to come by multiple times but this far, he had refused every single time. He wanted to talk to Ashton, to know all his facts first. Luke had said he understood but that didn’t stop him from texting Calum almost every hour of the day, just to make sure he knew the offer was still standing.

 

He knew the blond knew he was going to see Ashton tonight, even though he hadn’t told him so, meaning he and Ashton had had contact. Calum didn’t know what to think of that; he didn’t like knowing the two boys had talked about him behind his back, even though he knew Luke would never say anything bad about him.

 

He picked up his phone, feeling bad about practically ignoring his best friend while he was being nothing but a good, somewhat worried friend. Plus he didn’t have anything else to do anyways.

 

[To: Luke 7:14pm]

_Im nervous. Sorry I didn’t really texted you back, its been a weird few days tbh_

\---

 

It was finally time to leave his house, and Calum put on his coat, stepped outside his house and walked towards the coffee shop.

 

Meeting up with Ashton was a bit like meeting your best friend’s cousin; you know what they look like while you barely know what they’re like and the night will be either be extremely awkward or one of the best nights of your life.

 

Though Calum knew very well this wasn’t a date – at all – he had to keep reminding himself of that again and again. He was just as nervous as he usually was when he was going out for drinks with a girl. He kept blaming the fact that he needed information about last Saturday for that though. This had _nothing_ to do with Ashton’s gorgeousness, Calum was certain of it.

 

These thought were only there because of recent events and they’d go away soon enough; all Calum had to do was to get the information about Saturday night from Ashton, get used to it and move on, straight and well.

 

The door squeaked as Calum pushed it open, the sound was safe, welcoming instead of creepy. It reminded Calum of the nights where all he did was drink and complain about practically everything while the barista barely listened; it always managed to make him feel a little better.

His eyes scanned the room and they landed on a mop of blonde curls. The boy had seen him too, he was smiling and waved Calum over. He took in a deep breath and walked towards the sort of still stranger.

“I already ordered you a coffee, but if you want anything else I can just take yours as well.” The boy smiled, and that was something the raven haired boy hadn’t expected. He would’ve been mad if someone had kicked him out after doing him a favour; he would never be this nice to an ungrateful person such as himself.

“Coffee is great, thank you.” He said, smiling a small smile and sitting down.

He took one sip of the way too hot coffee, looking up at Ashton who did the same.

“I’m really sorry for Sunday.” Calum quickly said when the boy opened his mouth. He needed to say this first, needed to make things right.

“I just didn’t remember anything and I freaked out and I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did, no excuses. I really am sorry.” He said. He couldn’t repeat it often enough; he didn’t like to imagine what would’ve happened if the boy hadn’t been there.

“It’s okay.” The blonde smiled kindly.

“I understand, it _is_ quite creepy to wake up next to me.” He giggled, automatically making Calum smile.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” He said, even though he knew Ashton already knew that.

“I know.”

They sat in silence for a little while, content smile on their face while they took little sips of their coffee.

 

The shop with dark a dark wooden floor and wooden furniture was dimly lit, the lamp above their table lighting Ashton’s face perfectly. The beautiful hazel eyes he had noticed before were looking his way, looking a lot happier and more awake then the last time he had looked into them. Ashton’s locks were styled to one side this time, instead of standing into every direction after just waking up; not that that had been such a bad look on him. He was wearing a dark green shirt to matches his eyes and Calum had never looked at a man the way he was looking at Ashton right now.

He tried to push those thoughts away by getting the conversation going again.

“I still need to thank you for what you did for me. Luke told me.” Calum said, looking down at his own fingers, which were wrapped around his cup.

He wanted to add something, wanted the boy to know just how thankful he was but he couldn’t come up with anything.

“You would’ve done the same if you had seen it happen.” Ashton said, not too loud.

When Calum looked up to look at him again but the boy wasn’t looking his way.

“Don’t be too certain of that, I don’t know if I would’ve been brave enough.” The boy hated admitting that but it was only fair.

Ashton opened his mouth to reason with him but closed it again, obviously thinking of an answer.

“Courage only comes to you when you need it most I guess.” The boy shrugged and Calum smiled at him.

“I’m glad it did then.”

 

\---

 

“How are you though? Are you okay?” Ashton asked after they had both finished their coffee, talking about the weather and other things that didn’t matter.

“Yeah, why?” he asked, pretending like he didn’t know why he wouldn’t be okay.

“Well, I reckon it wasn’t easy to hear from Luke what had happened.”

“No it wasn’t.” Calum admitted.

“Can you tell me what happened though? Because Luke only knew a small part of the story.”

Ashton nodded, thinking about how he was going to bring this.

“I only know the part I saw obviously.” He said.

“I saw you walking towards the exit with that guy’s arm around you. At first I didn’t think much of it, he said something to you and you didn’t say anything. I could see you were really drunk though, but most people were.

Then you started saying something and I could see you tried to get away from him but he didn’t let go. I walked over to you and asked if you wanted to go with him and you said no. And that’s it.”

Calum shook his head.

“That’s not it. I want to know what happened after that. The entire night.”

_I want to know how you ended up sleeping in my bed._

“Oh.”

“Well, I told the man to fuck off and because there were too many people around he let you go and I offered to bring you home, since you didn’t look like you could get there on your own.

You said you wanted to say goodbye to Luke first so we did. I told Luke I was going to bring you home and he was too drunk to offer to come with us I guess.” Ashton smiled a little.

“I brought you home and you asked me to stay the night because you thought you were going to fall down the stairs and die.” Ashton giggled, and Calum rolled his eyes at his drunk self. Of course he would say something like that.

“I wasn’t sure because you had told me multiple times you were straight and I figured the only reason you said that so often was because you didn’t want me to have the wrong ideas, so I was afraid you’d get mad at me in the morning for staying because I knew you wouldn’t remember anything from the night before. But eventually you convinced me and I stayed.”

Calum nodded. This still didn’t explain how they ended up cuddling though.

Ashton seemed to notice the big question mark above his head and giggled again.

“I tried to go home in the middle of the night to make sure what eventually did happened wouldn’t happen but you woke up and forced me to cuddle with you. I didn’t give in until you recorded that promise though.”

Great, now Calum felt bad about Sunday morning again.

“Look I am sorry, I found the record later on Sunday.”

“It’s okay.” Ashton chuckled.

“You must’ve been so confused when you heard it.”

“Yeah.” Calum admitted, both boys giggling.

This really was the weirdest situation Calum had ever been in.


	5. Don't you go, carry on with your life

Calum was halfway his second beer when Ashton was telling him the story of how he met his then roommate Michael and the raven haired boy was clutching his belly because it hurt so much from laughing all night.

 

After Ashton and he had talked about what had happened that Saturday, American Idiot by Green Day had come on and since no one had been around to hear them – it was a Tuesday after all – they had sang along from the top of their lungs (the barista had watched them with an amused smile on his face) which had led them to talking about their passion for music.

 

Now, almost three hours later, they were still talking about the same subject since it was an important part in both their lives. Calum had met Luke because of his love for music and Ashton had started tolerating his roommate after finding out they both liked the same bands, and that is why Ashton was now telling about how much he used to hate him.

 

Calum liked Ashton, he really did and he wished he had never sent him away last Sunday. It would’ve made the last two days a _lot_ easier.

 

“Eventually I had to make a swear jar and after only two weeks there was like thirty bucks in it but he stole the money back. Which was kinda mean since two dollar was actually mine.” Ashton said, looking as if he was still pissed about that.

“I got used to him swearing all the time but I have always tried to keep him away from my mother and siblings as far as possible.”

Calum chuckled, loving the sound of Ashton’s giggle as it filled the room. No one was there so they didn’t have to keep quiet in order not to annoy other customers.

 

It was near closing time when the barista walked into their direction.

“I’m really sorry Cal, but we’d like to close now.” He said. It wasn’t the first time Cal had been told this, so he just smiled at the boy.

“We’ll be going then.” He grabbed his wallet and followed the boy towards the cash register.

Ashton grabbed his bicep and stopped him halfway though.

“You’re not paying.” He said.

“Of course I am. I owe you.”

“So? I suggested to go here.”

“And I agreed.” He said, running so he would reach the desk first. He heard his blonde friend giggling behind him and he knew he had won.

 

As they stepped outside, the chilly evening wind hitting their warm cheeks, and Calum didn’t know where they were supposed to go from here.

Did he go home and never talk to Ashton again? Would he wait for him to invite him to do something like this again? How did this work?

They both stood in silence, listening to the barista locking the door behind them.

 

Just when Calum figured it would be better for him to just go home – even though he really didn’t want to - and wait for Ashton to make a move, the blonde opened his mouth. He looked just as confident as Calum felt uncertain and the raven haired boy sometimes wondered what that would feel like.

“Would you like to have a drink at my house? It’s still quite early.”

“Yeah.” Calum immediately agreed, even though it was a schoolday and he had to get up quite early tomorrow.

Ashton’s smile grew even bigger and he turned around to lead the way.

 

\---

 

Ashton had consumed quite a few beers while Calum was still taking tiny sips from his first bottle since they had reached the boy’s house.

His house was neat; it almost seemed impossible to the raven haired boy to keep in this clean while actually living in it.

 

The blonde was sitting right next to Calum, their thighs occasionally touching even though the couch was more than large enough to fit four people on it.

After just a few hours of talking, Calum already considered Ashton his friend and every time he looked at him, he marvelled at how beautiful he actually was. He had noticed it the very first time but it was like he kept discovering things he liked about the boy; it was scary to say the least, and having him this close did not help his case at all.

Ashton was nice, funny and easy to talk with, especially now that he was only slightly tipsy.

 

He told about his job, about how his co-worker was the funniest, most sarcastic person he had ever met and about how the two of them dealt with their creepy ass boss. Calum listened, his smile never leaving his face.

 

After a little while, a comfortable silence filled the room and Calum looked around, looking at the pictures on the wall. Each and every one of them probably held a story and he’d love to hear them all.

When his eyes landed on a picture that was very obviously taken in the club they had met last Saturday, his mind wandered back to that night. There were a few forgotten questions that still were unanswered and Calum wondered if it was a very bad idea to ask them now.

Ashton seemed to notice his mood had changed though, his shoulder nudging Calum’s own, gaining his attention.

“You okay?” he asked, his face serious.

“Yeah.” Calum smiled. It wasn’t lying; he was more than alright here by Ashton’s side.

“Something’s bothering you though.” Ashton knew.

“Yeah… I was wondering, how come you saw I was drugged? If it was so obvious, why didn’t anybody else help me?”

“It’s not that easy to see, a lot of people just confuse it for being drunk.”

Calum nodded. He had expected an answer like that.

“But how did you see it then?”

“Honestly?” Ashton asked after a short silence.

Calum nodded again.

“Promise you won’t judge.”

“I promise.” Calum said, looking directly in Ashton’s eyes. The confidence he had seen before couldn’t be found this time.

“My friends had this way of picking up girls by getting them drunk. They did that for quite a while and even though I thought what they did was wrong, I just tried to ignore it, you know? They didn’t actually force the girls but I still didn’t like it.

After a while, there were quite a few girls who already knew about them, so they wouldn’t let them buy them any drinks. One guy came up with using drugs. It was a lot easier, all they had to do was put it in their drinks when they weren’t looking, and the girls wouldn’t even be able to refuse; the drugs usually makes you numb. I stopped hanging out with them but it only got worse. I watched them taking a _lot_ of girls home but I couldn’t do anything. I was afraid of them so I just stayed quiet; something I really regret now. “

Calum stayed silent for a little while, giving Ashton the change to add something if he wanted to. He looked like he had a hard time telling this; Calum wasn’t surprised.

“It only got worse so I went to talk to them. They got really mad but they didn’t beat me up or anything like I had expected.”

A pause.

“Instead, they drugged _me_ the weekend after and took _me_ home.” He whispered and he gulped as soon as the words had left his mouth, looking as if he wished that would swallow them all in again.

Calum’s hand quickly found its way around Ashton’s shoulder, pulling him into a sideways hug. The blonde dropped his head on his shoulder and sighted.

“I don’t know why I told you that.” Ashton sounded genuinely confused, and Calum got the feeling he hadn’t told a lot of people before.

“I’m glad you did.” He said, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into the skin that showed just above his collarbone.

 

Ashton didn’t cry. He didn’t do anything. He just lay there, slumped against the other boy’s chest. Calum didn’t know how much time had passed – probably an hour or so – when he was pretty sure the boy wasn’t awake anymore.

He gently moved his hand and placed it on his leg, shaking it softly but there came no reaction. He shifted a bit so he could take in the boy’s sleeping face and a small smile appeared around his lips.

While trying not to disturb Ashton, he got up with the boy in his arms and searched his way towards the boy’s bedroom.

 

Once he had found it, he carefully placed the boy down on top of the king sized bed, contemplating if he was going to undress the boy or not, you know, since what he had just told and all. But Ashton had done that to him as well last time, so why not?

He figured he could at least try to undress him while he was asleep; he’d probably wouldn’t care tomorrow morning anyways and sleeping with skinny jeans was _not_ comfortable, Calum knew that from experience.

It turned out Ashton was quite a heavy sleeper. Calum could easily pull of his shirt, letting his fingers brush against his warm skin once or twice on purpose. Getting the sleeping boy out of his skin tight jeans was a lot harder though, but he eventually succeeded.

He pulled the covers from under the boy and tugged him in, standing completely still when the boy stilled, afraid he had woken him up.

 

He stood in the middle of the room, watching the sleeping boy, not sure what to do next.

He couldn’t just leave now, could he? Besides, Ashton had stayed with him as well, even though that had been a different situation.

 

He walked out of the room, deciding it would be quite creepy to just crawl in bed next to a slightly drunk boy. With every step he felt more guilt creeping up and by the time he had made it to the front door, he decided it would be better to stay.

He turned around, got undressed and got into the bed, making sure there was enough space between their bodies.

 

\---

 

Falling asleep in a bed that isn’t his own has always been an issue to Calum.

Tonight, it was even worse. It was way past three o’clock when he was still staring at the ceiling, his own thoughts confusing him very much.

Next to him was sleeping one of the kindest and most beautiful people he had ever met and it was a _boy._

And the problem was; he was completely fine with it. Everything that had happened that evening, he had never thought twice about anything he had done or said. At least not about the whole ‘we’re both boys’ thing. It bothered him that it didn’t bother him and that didn’t make sense at all.

Calum turned on his other side again, facing Ashton. He was still asleep. His brows were furrowed and his mouth was hanging open a bit; it looked adorable. Calum would’ve reached out and ruffled his wild hair if the boy hadn’t brokenly whimpered in his sleep.

Calum watched him, watched his expression change into one he couldn’t describe. The boy started moving quite a lot and more and more sounds left his mouth. Some sounds sounded like words but the raven haired boy couldn’t tell what was going on.

As soon as he saw a tear escaping his closed eye, he realized what was going on; their conversation had probably caused a nightmare.

Calum quickly moved closer. He knew he shouldn’t wake Ashton, but he had to do _something_ right?

“No.” Ashton cried and Calum’s heart broke at the sound.

He instinctively wrapped his arms around him; the sounds got worse at first but as Calum started whispering sweet nothings into his ear, the boy seemed to relax.

He pulled Ashton even closer to himself, his chest tightly pressed against the boy’s back as he kept whispering to him.

“It’s alright, you’re alright.” He told him.  

One last sob left the boy’s mouth and Calum kissed him on the top of his head, his curls tickling against his skin.

“I’ve got you.” He said, kissing his head once more before relaxing and letting himself mimic Ashton’s breathing.


	6. So take a breath now

Calum hasn’t had much sleep when he wakes up in a bed that obviously isn’t his own with blonde locks pressed against his face, making it hard to properly breathe. He feels Ashton’s back tightly pressed against his chest and the arm that is thrown over his side moves in sync with his slow breathing. He quickly checks if the boy is awake or not, and when it turns out he is still asleep, he pulls back, creating some space between them once again. He doesn’t mind cuddling with Ashton, it isn’t even the first time he woke up with the boy so close to him but after what he had told him yesterday, he figured it would be better not to take any risks; what if Ashton was going to freak out from waking up like this, without being able to see who was holding him?

 

Calum stayed in the comfy bed, waiting for Ashton to wake up. He didn’t want to go home yet because he wanted to make sure the boy was okay and he couldn’t do anything else since he had never been in this house before. Maybe he wouldn’t admit it out loud but even if he hadn’t had any real excuses, he still wouldn’t have left the bed.

 

It didn’t take long before Ashton was starting to wake up, he started shifting a bit so he was on his back and as he stretched, his eyes slowly opened. He smiled when he saw Calum; it was exactly what the raven haired boy had hoped for.

“Morning.” He mumbled.

“Morning.” Came the reply. Ashton’s voice was lower than usual and it sounded hoarse; it sounded sexy and there was no denying it.

The youngest patiently waited for Ashton to fully wake up and he watched him as it happened. Ashton was looking at him, and Calum could almost see the memories from last night and all the emotions that belonged to them flashing in front of his eyes.

Suddenly his eyes grew big and Calum knew his brain had caught up with the very last part of the night. He pulled up the blanket, covering his naked chest and his cheek turned bright red; he looked nothing like the boy Calum had got to know yesterday.

 “You undressed me?”

“Ash, I am so sorry I totally didn’t think about it.”

Ashton didn’t look at him and Calum didn’t know what to do.

“The only thing I thought of was that it is uncomfortable to sleep in jeans.” He said, wishing Ashton would see how sorry and utterly stupid he was.

What kind of idiot undresses a rape survivor and sleeps next to him in only his boxers?

“It’s okay.” He said, his voice shaking a bit and giving away it wasn’t that okay.

“I remember everything.”

Calum wanted to say something, wanted to make the boy feel better, wanted to make him trust him but he was at a loss of words.

Ashton visibly relaxed soon enough though and when he looked up and met Calum’s eyes it was as if nothing had happened, as if an entire different Ashton was in front of him again; Calum didn’t like it. He didn’t want the boy to wear a mask in front of him.

“I’m sorry I reacted that way.” Ashton said, no emotion in his voice but shame.

“As if you…”

“No, you’ve got every right to feel that way Ash.” Calum looked him deep in the eyes to make sure he knew he meant every word. When the boy looked away, he gently touched his shoulder to gain his attention again.

“I’m sorry for what I did, that was incredibly stupid of me.”

“It’s okay. At least you see me as Ashton instead as ‘a rape victim’.” The boy chuckled dryly. Calum figured there was a story behind that comment but he wasn’t sure if he could ask for an explanation so he stayed silent.

 

Both boys didn’t say a word and Calum listened to the sounds from outside. He could hear birds and people chatting but mainly traffic, which reminded him he had school today.

No way he was going to leave this bed to go to school though; he’d text Luke later.

This was so weird yet it felt so safe to Calum, he had never had a person he could do absolutely nothing with, he had never had a person he could be completely silent with without feeling awkward or like he had to do or say something; this was more than okay.

He didn’t even feel weird about laying in some guy’s bed while they were both in their boxers for at least half an hour.

 

“I know what you did last night.” Ashton suddenly said, and Calum furrowed his brows. He didn’t even remember what the boy was talking about.

“When I had a nightmare.”

“Oh.”

Calum had thought, maybe even hoped, the boy had slept through it all. He wondered why the spooning hadn’t been a problem while knowing he had undressed him had been.

“Do you have those often?” He wasn’t sure if the boy actually wanted to talk about it, but if he didn’t he’d probably say so and everything would be okay.

“No, not anymore.”

“Do you remember what happened to you? I mean, because of the drugs?”

“No, and that’s probably the scariest part. I know what happened. I remember waking up in bed naked with all these guys around me, covered in bruises while everything hurt. I couldn’t remember but I did know what must’ve happened, and every night I dreamed about it but because I couldn’t remember, the dreams always were different. It were just scenarios in my head that maybe didn’t even happen yet the same dreams kept coming back. I try not to think about which are real and which are not.”

And that was the answer to Calum’s question, he figured. That’s why he was freaked out by waking up next to Calum but not by the actual touches. He was not going to try his luck though; he knew he had to be careful around the boy.

“I wish I could help you.” Calum spoke truthfully.

“You did.” Ashton smiled at him; it was a bit of a sad smile, Calum could see it in his eyes but at least he wasn’t wearing his mask.

“Can you promise me one thing?” Calum asked.

“Yeah?” Ashton looked confused.

“Can you please be honest with me? I mean, not just now but always. I want you to let me know when something bothers you and I don’t want you to pretend you’re alright when you’re not. I want you to call me when you’re alone and need someone. Okay?”

Ashton didn’t answer immediately. His eyes were tearing up a bit and Calum felt guilty right away. Maybe talking about it wasn’t as easy as it sounded.

“Okay?” he pushed.

The blonde quickly nodded.

“Can we cuddle?” was Ashton’s first request, and the youngest was happy to obey.

“Of course we can.”

Ashton quickly moved in closer and lay his head down on Calum’s shoulder. The boy wrapped his arms around him and it reminded him of the morning he had woken up in Ashton’s arms the way he was lying in his right now. He had been so freaked out then; he was so calm and relaxed now. How much a person can change in just three days; it never would’ve happened with anyone but Ashton.

“Is this okay with you?” Ashton softly asked as he placed his arm on top of Calum’s chest, connecting some of his moles with invisible lines as if he wanted to remember the pattern.

The boy only hummed in response, he was so content right now, he wanted to stay completely still to make sure this moment would never go away.

It wasn’t the first time he questioned his sexuality in the last few days but he decided this would be the last time. He very obviously was into Ashton, who happened to be a boy, so he gave himself the label ‘bisexual’ and moved on. He had never cared for these labels anyways; silly gossips had never stopped him from hugging his best _bisexual_ friend in the middle of the school halls or joking about dating him or any other boy for that matter.

He kissed the top of the boy’s head like he had done last night and it was as if this was who they were now; they still had a lot to talk about but it was quite obvious there was _something_ between the two of them.

 

\---

 

“Seriously though Cal, if we don’t get up now we never will.” Ashton said. The raven haired boy had no idea how much time had passed since he had woken up, probably an hour or two? The sun was shining so bright into the room that it hurt to open his eyes and he grumbled when he felt Ashton pushing himself off of him to get up.

“No.” he whined like a child and Ashton giggled.

“Come on, I’ll make you brunch and we’ll play guitar hero. Bet I can beat your sorry ass.” Ashton challenged, and that was more than enough convincing to get Calum out of bed as well.

The blonde threw comfortable sweatpants and a hoodie his way as he got changed into another pair.

 

Calum quickly glanced at his phone as Ashton was making him breakfast and he noticed he had two missed calls and three messages from Luke, always the worried friend.

 

[From: Luke. 08:54am]

_Dude where the fuck are you?_

[From: Luke. 09:23am]

_Why wont you answer your fucking phone? Did Ashton kill you?_

[From: Luke. 10:31am]

_Your still with Ash arent you? Cal I swear to god I am going to personally get you if you dont text back in an hour_

Calum quickly looked at the clock on his phone, and decided to quickly let Luke know he was not dead.

 

[To: Luke 11:02am]

_Im not dead. Im with ash_

 

[From: Luke 11:03am]

_Thought so. You scared me to death asshole_

[To: Luke 11:04am]

_Love you too sweetcheeks_

[To: Luke 11:04am]

_Be safe ;)_

Calum didn’t realize he had actually snorted out loud until Ashton turned around and asked him what was wrong.

“Luke’s being a worried dick.” He replied, smiling at his phone as he locked it and shoved it into his pocket.

“Yeah I know.” Ashton chuckled.

“He texted me all day on Sunday to thank me for taking care of you and he wanted to know what happened so he could tell you. He told me you were freaking out.” He explained when he saw the confused look on Calum’s face, which was turning slightly red even though he had no reason to be ashamed.

 

The blonde walked over and placed to plates down on the table.

“Thanks for staying tonight by the way.” Ashton smiled and Calum would’ve said something about how Ashton had done the same but that would remind them that he had kicked him out right after and that was something he’d rather forget.

“I still need to call in sick. My boss won’t be happy that I didn’t call earlier.” Ashton chuckled, quickly changing the subject when Calum’s only reply was a shy smile.

“How late did you have to start today?” The raven haired boy asked.

He knew Ashton worked at a High School as a music teacher and Calum couldn’t be more jealous. He had been thinking about turning his hobby into his work as well but his mum had said it wasn’t something he could easily find a job in so he had picked something else. 

“One pm. Most schools make sure kids have Music at the end of the day because they get quite noisy during my class.” He chuckled.

“Plus that way I can immediately go to Glee club instead of having to wait a few hours.”

“You lead a Glee club?” Calum asked; he hadn’t expected that from the boy.

“Yeah.” Ashton giggled. He didn’t look ashamed at all, and the raven haired boy figured he had no reason to be.   

“It may not sound cool but I really like it. It’s better than Music class because the Glee kids actually chose it, so they’re motivated. Some of them sing really well and I always try to do ‘cool songs’ with them.”

“I bet the kids love you.” Calum said truthfully.

“I sure hope so.” Ashton smiled.

“You should come by some time, maybe we could write a mashup together or something, or you could show off your guitar skills to get them motivated to pick up an instrument as well.”

“I’d like that.”

“But first I’m going to show _you_ off with my guitar hero skills.” He laughed, remembering Ashton’s challenge.

“Oh no you won’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what the next chapter is gonna be :P
> 
> (Tip: the chapter titles are from a song and in the right order ;) )


	7. You don't have to go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I fucked the titles of the chapters up, but I changed them and now they are sort of okay but yeah, they don't really make sense anymore..
> 
> More important: I quite like this chapter, it's a bit longer than the rest and I like to think it's cute  
> Next chapter will be smut :)

Calum was sitting beside Ashton in his car. They were on their way towards Ashton’s mother’s house because he had to look after his siblings while she was gone and because Calum didn’t want to part just yet, he had suggested he’d keep him company. Of course Ashton had said yes.

 

They had spent the rest of their morning playing guitar hero and even though it hadn’t been easy, Calum had eventually won. Ashton had told him that if someone ever were to invent a drum game, he’d get back at him immediately.

 

It had been around three when Ashton had suggested they’d go surfing. Calum hadn’t been too sure, even though he had lived in Australia for all his life, he had never done anything like that before and he wasn’t too keen on making a fool out of himself right in front of the blonde.

The older boy had promised he wouldn’t laugh at him though and that he’d teach him and the idea of seeing Ashton in a wetsuit eventually was enough to convince him.

 

He had had the most amazing day ever and it wasn’t even over yet. Calum was seriously contemplating dropping out of school and spending the rest of his days with the older boy.

 

He was sure he was in love with the boy – as scary as it was. He knew it should’ve been too early to actually use the word love to describe his feelings but he couldn’t help it; no other word would do.

It wasn’t even scary because it was the first time he had feelings for a boy but because it was the first time he had feelings for (let alone was in love with) anyone at all. He had never had a relationship, he had never felt the need to get one of his one night stands to know better and he really didn’t know where he was supposed to go from the fresh friendship he and Ashton had. He hoped that if he’d just spend enough time with the boy, it would all just magically work out and maybe he’d figure out how relationships worked along the way. 

 

“You’re going to love Harry, he’s the weirdest kid to ever walk this earth.” Ashton giggled when they pulled up in the driveway of his mother’s house and Calum couldn’t wait to meet the boy’s way younger siblings. He had told him quite a bit about them and they sounded almost as great as Ashton was. He didn’t have much experience with young kids, seeing he only had an older sister but he wasn’t too worried he wouldn’t get along with Lauren and Harry.

 

Calum got out of the car and followed the blonde towards the front door, fidgeting with his shirt since he was just a tiny bit more nervous than he’d admit; he needed to make a perfect first impression on the boy’s family.

 

A woman with the same blonde hair as Ashton opened and she smiled when she saw Calum awkwardly standing next to her son.

“Hello, I’m Anne Marie.” She said, hugging the boy and Calum relaxed into the embrace immediately while he usually would make sure to get out of it as soon as possible.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Calum.” The boy said as soon as the woman let go, already feeling comfortable around her.

“Come in.” she said, turning around and disappearing inside the house. Calum followed her with Ashton trailing behind.

 

In the living room were two children watching some T.V. show and at first they didn’t look up when the three adults walked in.

“Guys, Ashton’s here.” Anne Marie said.

“Hi.” The nine year old girl said, her eyes still focused on the T.V.

“And he brought a friend.”

Now two pair of curious, hazel eyes looked up to him and Calum waved a bit awkwardly.

“Who are you?” The youngest, Harry, asked.

“I’m Calum. Who are you?” He asked even though he already knew.

“I’m Harry. That is Lauren.” He said, pointing to his sister who just smiled at him.

“Great, now that that is settled, I really must get going.”

The raven haired boy watched as Anne Marie kissed her two youngest children on the top of their heads and Ashton on his cheek – she still had to tip toe to reach it.

“Bye mum. You look lovely by the way.” The eldest said and the woman winked at him before she left the house, leaving it to Ashton and Calum.

 

“So what are we going to do today?” Lauren asked. The boy had told Calum that he always tried to do something fun with his siblings whenever he had to look after them, instead of just watching a movie.

“Well, first we are going to have dinner and during dinner we’ll think of something to do because I am running out of ideas.”

“Do you like baking Lauren?” Calum suddenly said, remembering his babysitter used to bake cookies with him and his sister when they were Ashton’s siblings’ age.

The girl nodded enthusiastic and Calum looked at Ashton for reassurance. He was wearing this same big smile complete with dimples as Lauren and Calum couldn’t help but smile back.

“That’s settled then.” Ashton said.

“Great idea Cal, we haven’t done that in ages.”

“But first we’re going to eat. You guys just watch your series or whatever what it is you were watching, and we will cook yeah?” Ashton suggested and Harry scrunched his nose.

“Are you going to cook?” he asked. 

“No. But Calum is.” The eldest said.

“I am?”

“You are.” Ashton nodded.

“You said you liked cooking.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m good at it.”

“I’m sure you are.” Ashton giggled.

“Okay but don’t blame me if we all get sick.”

 

After Ashton had showed Calum where he could find all the stuff he’d need, he was in the kitchen making spaghetti while Ashton was setting the table. The food was almost done and Calum was quite happy with how it had turned out.

 

He was currently at the stove, stirring in the sauce and waiting impatiently for the timer to go off when he felt two strong arms wrapping around his stomach and a chin resting on his shoulder.

“Smells delicious chef.” He muttered softly.

“Thanks I…”

“Is Calum your boyfriend Ashton?”

It was Harry, who had walked into the kitchen to see if dinner was ready already.

Before Ashton could respond, the six year old was running off, telling Lauren that Ashton had a boyfriend.

Calum could feel his own face heating up as Ashton started giggling but he didn’t let go and the raven haired boy sure didn’t mind. He sheepishly smiled when Ashton muttered an apology for his brother’s behaviour; he didn’t sound as if he really was sorry.

The blonde hugged him a little tighter before letting go after that, as if he was telling Calum he didn’t want to let go but had to after the timer went off and Calum turned off the gas.

 

The raven haired boy quickly finished up and carried the pan to the dining room.

“Really, candles?” Calum chuckled when he saw all the candles on the table.

“What? I like them okay.” Ashton giggled, a tiny blush on his cheek that Calum wanted to kiss.

He could’ve known the boy would be a bit of a romantic.

 

\---

 

 “He cooks better than you Ash.” Lauren said after just one bite.

“I like Calum. Can he come with you again next time?” The girl asked.

The two adults looked each other in the eyes, both wanting to make sure they were on the same level when Harry decided to answer for him.

“Of course he will come again, he is Ashton’s boyfriend remember?”

The kids giggled and Calum started blushing once again; Ashton saw it this time, winking at him with a smirk on his face.

“If you won’t be nice he won’t come again though, so I’d better listen to him very carefully for the rest of the night.” Ashton told Lauren and she stuck out her tongue at her older brother, who returned the favour immediately. Calum watched with an amused smile on his face; he could get used to this.

 

After dinner, the two kids ran off, despite Ashton telling them to help them clean up. He sighed when they didn’t listen and Calum wondered if he should try to get them to listen.

“Can I…?” he asked the blonde.

“Yes, please!” he dramatically sighed and Calum giggled as he stepped into the living room.

“Guys, how about we bake cookies first and then watch a movie?”

The two children cheered and Ashton raised his eyebrows at him. This was obviously not what he had expected.

“Well, we won’t have enough time for that if Ashton and I have to clean everything alone, so if you just help us out real quick, we can do both.” He really hoped this would work; he had never done anything like this before.

Harry quickly got up and ran towards the kitchen to help but Lauren seemed to have to think about it.

“We have toppings to decorate the cookies as well.” Ashton said and that was just enough to convince her.

“Nice work Hood. You can definitely come again.” Ashton giggled as they went to help the kids put the plates into the dishwasher.

 

\---

 

The kitchen was an absolute _mess_. There was flour everywhere and both the countertop and the table were covered in cookie dough and all kinds of toppings. Lauren had some cookie dough on her cheek and Calum was pretty sure the flour would come out of Harry’s wild curls days later but they all had had so much fun, he didn’t really care.

“Can we please try just one?” Harry whined.

“Don’t you want mum to see the cookies Haz? You guys decorated them so pretty.” Ashton praised.

“Plus we’ve just had dinner.”

“I think mum should have the first bite.” Lauren agreed, but that didn’t stop Harry from whining.

“But they look so good!”

“They will still look good tomorrow morning. Maybe we can make some popcorn later tonight okay?”

The boy nodded.

“Why don’t you guys pick out a movie to watch and we’ll attempt to clean up this mess.” Calum said, feeling more and more confident in his role as babysitter.

 

“Are you sure you have never done this before?” Ashton checked once the kids were gone, even though he already knew the answer.

“Yeah.” Calum chuckled. He really was glad this hadn’t turned into some sort of awful disaster because it could have and that would’ve been awkward.

“You’re great with kids.” Ashton complimented him as he started collecting the dishes.

“They love you.”

“Of course they do.” Calum chuckled because he was an awkward idiot who couldn’t handle compliments very well.

“Everybody does.” He added, to make sure the other boy knew he was joking.

“True.” Ashton said instead of fighting it and Calum had not expected that; his smile grew so big it felt like his cheeks were going to rip and he’d have to walk around looking like the freaking joker for the rest of his life.

 

\---

 

It was almost forty-five minutes later when the two adults finally were done cleaning the kitchen and they walked over to the living room to join the kids who were watching Tangled.

Harry and Lauren both had claimed their own chair so that the couch was the only place left. Calum didn’t mind. He made sure to sit down right next to Ashton, brushing his knee against his thigh every so often.

Soon enough they had made a game of trying to touch each other without Ashton’s siblings finding out. Ashton placed his hand on top of his leg, just above his knee and kept it there until Harry had to go to the bathroom.

Calum stretched and placed his arm around Ashton like in the movies after the boy had come back and was focused on the screen again but because it made them both giggle, he had to pull away right after.

After a while Calum didn’t care anymore; they thought he was dating their brother anyway, so they probably wouldn’t mind them cuddling a tiny bit. He shifted so he could let his head fall on the older boy’s shoulder.

The children didn’t notice it though; they were too busy singing along.

 

Suddenly the movie paused.

“Okay, time for bed kids.” Ashton sternly said and his two siblings started complaining right away, claiming they weren’t tired at all even though the raven haired boy had seen Harry yawning at least five times.

“We’re not going to do this again; it’s way past your bedtime.” Ashton said. He obviously had had this discussion before.

“But it’s not even late.”

“It’s Wednesday, you’ve got school tomorrow! Come on, maybe I’ll sing you a song.”

“Will you sing mum’s song?” Lauren asked, and after Ashton nodded, both kids slowly got up and disappeared upstairs.

“I’ll be there in five minutes okay?”

 

“What is your mother’s song?” Calum curiously asked.

“It’s the song my mum sang to me the night after my dad had left.” Ashton told him, and Calum felt like an idiot for asking the question while he could’ve known it was something special.

“She sang it for five years, every single night. Then she started dating my stepfather and I thought I was too old for lullabies anyways so we almost forgot about the song. After my stepfather left, she started singing it to Lauren and Harry again.”

“I’m so sorry Ash.” Calum said, leaning his head on the boy’s shoulder again.

“It’s okay, it’s a long time ago and I didn’t care for him that much. It’s just not fair towards Lauren and Harry I think; I know what they had to go through and it never really gets easier thinking you weren’t important enough for him to stay.”

The younger boy wished he knew what to say. He decided not to say anything, taking Ashton’s hand in his own instead and squeezing it softly. He could tell this didn’t weight as heavy as what the boy had told him the day before but he still felt bad about making him talk about something so painful once again.

 

“Come on, let’s put some kids down.” Ashton said after sitting there for about two minutes, pulling Calum up by their intertwined hands.

 

\---

 

_Goodnight my angel,_

_Time to close your eyes_

_And save these questions for another day._

_I think I know what you’ve been asking me,_

_I think you know what I’ve been trying to say._

_I promised I would never leave you,_

_And you should always know;_

_Wherever you may go,_

_No matter where you are_

_I never will be far away._

_Goodnight my angel,_

_Now it’s time to dream_

_And dream how wonderful your life will be._

_Someday your child may cry_

_And if you sing this lullaby_

_Then in your heart_

_There will always be a part of me._

_Someday we’ll all be gone_

_But lullabies go on and on_

_They never die_

_That’s how you and I will be._  
  
Calum listened and somewhere along the song he had forgotten how to breathe; the song was beautiful, especially when one knew the meaning behind it and Ashton’s voice was even more beautiful. Lauren sent a sad smile Ashton’s way and the boy kissed her cheek.

“I love you little sis. Goodnight.”

He kissed his little brother as well and Calum waved his goodbye to the two kids after having to promise Harry he’d come back some time. Ashton switched of the light, wished the two sweet dreams and the two boys went back downstairs.

“You know what I want to do now?”

“What?” Calum asked, not sure what was going to follow next.

“Finish that movie because I heard it’s not that bad and I have never seen it before.”

Calum giggled. He was glad Ashton was in a good mood, they had had enough misery to talk about the day before and even though Calum wanted Ashton to always come to him with his problems, he figured it would be better for them both to just forget about the world being unfair for now. They could always talk later.

 

They let themselves fall back on the couch, their bodies even closer to each other’s than before. Ashton instantly threw his arm around Calum and pulled him so he was resting against him; it was very comfortable.


	8. It was a fast night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUTT

“That Eugene guy is pretty hot for a Disney character, don’t you think?” Ashton asked when Rapunzel and Eugene were in a boat together to watch the floating lanterns. Calum laughed at him, making Ashton turn his head.

“What? Come on, you must admit he looks better than most human beings.”

The raven haired boy didn’t stop giggling but he eventually agreed with his crush.

“You’re hotter though.” He added; his cheeks started to burn once again but he didn’t regret saying it; it was true, wasn’t it?

“Oh really?” Ashton challenged with one raised eyebrow and a smirk on his face.

“Yeah.” Calum muttered while staring at the boy’s face; it was so close to his own.

The blonde looked like he wanted to say something and Calum was already preparing for some friendly banter, instead he moved closer and closed the gap between them, carefully placing his lips on Calum’s.

The boy’s heart instantly stopped beating and it almost felt like his blood had left his body; but in a good way. He knew they had to part soon in order not to die from suffocation but he tried to hold that moment off as long as possible.

Kissing Ashton wasn’t that different from kissing girls; the only tiny difference was that he actually had feelings for Ashton, so this kiss was definitely better.

His eyes were closed and he wished he could memorize every detail of the kiss; the feeling of Ashton’s lips against his own, his breathe against his skin and his hand slowly finding its way to his cheek.

 

Eventually they had to part and Calum kept his gaze down while catching his breath, afraid he wouldn’t be able to do that if he’d look into Ashton’s eyes too soon.

As soon as their eyes crossed, the youngest moved back in, his tongue licking over the boy’s red bottom lip, waiting for him to grant him access to his mouth so he could explore it.

The thing was, he wanted to take it slow, he really did; he just couldn’t. For some reason he had been thinking about doing this all day and maybe that wasn’t that long compared to how long some people had to wait to kiss their crush but for Calum it was way too long.

Ashton opened his mouth, their tongues meeting for the first time and the raven haired boy had always thought that the whole ‘seeing fireworks’ thing was complete and utter bullshit but he could swear he saw it right then and there.

 

He wrapped his hand around Ashton’s neck, making sure he was as close to him as possible, his fingers tangling in the bit of hair there.

The boy could feel Ashton’s hand on his chest, feeling every inch of him through his shirt. His palm felt hot against him even though their skin was separated by a thin layer of fabric and Calum couldn’t wait to get rid of it. 

Everything was happening so fast and Calum had a hard time keeping up even though all they did was kissing and innocently touching each other.

 The youngest placed his hand on Ashton’s leg, not so subtly moving it up until his hand was on the boy’s thigh, dangerously close to his crotch.

As if that had been his cue, Ashton’s mouth left Calum’s and repositioned a bit so he could kiss him below his ear, sucking in order to make a hickey there.

“Oh fuck.” Calum muttered, making more space for Ashton to continue what he was doing. The hand that had been on his neck moved up so his fingers were tangled in his blonde curls, needing to do something with his hands in order not to get too carried away.

 

Ashton pulled back again, and Calum softly tugged on his hair, telling him without words he wanted to taste his lips again.

“Bossy.” The eldest giggled but he went to kiss him right away. While they kissed, Calum could feel Ashton pushing against his chest and he got it immediately, letting himself fall so he was lying on his back, the blonde hovering above him. Their lips never left each other and Calum knew he could do this for days.

 

Ashton’s mouth went to explore his neck and collarbone once again, sucking not hard enough to create a hickey this time but blowing cold air over it, making Calum shiver.

He wrapped his arms around the boy’s body, pulling him a little closer until he could feel the boy’s crotch against his own, making Ashton whimper. The boy was hard; just a little bit harder than Calum was and the raven haired boy smirked. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do next though, so he decided to just roll his hips so their erection brushed against the other’s again.

“Shit Cal.” Ashton muttered against his skin, placing one small kiss on top of his collarbone before going back to kissing his mouth. It was as if Ashton had been waiting for Calum to make a move like this, to show him that it was alright for the two of them to go there. The blonde’s hand moved down from where it was still resting against his chest so it was just a little above his jeans, keeping it there. Calum shifted a bit, wanting the boy to just touch him already. He grew a little impatient when he didn’t and started whimpering in the kiss.

“What is it?” Ashton asked, his lips brushing against Calum’s, a playful smirk on his face.

At first Calum was a bit shy to say it out loud but when Ashton kept waiting for an answer he figured he didn’t have a choice.

“Touch me?” he asked, his voice shy and small.

“Of course” Ashton cooed, his hand instantly traveling down and applying pressure to the bulge that was in Calum’s pants. He drew a sharp breath and threw his head back, closing his eyes so he missed the smirk on Ashton’s face. The blonde took advantage of his exposed neck and left a trail of small kisses; Calum noticed he had quite a thing for neck kisses.

 

Just when the raven haired boy was about to try his luck and touch Ashton the way he was touching him, they heard a key opening the front door. The blonde shot him an apologetic look and sat back up, Calum following his example. He didn’t know how they were going to hide their erections though.

 

“Hi guys.” Anne Marie called as she entered the house and Ashton started putting on his shoes; he didn’t have to tell the younger boy to do the same.

“Hi.” Ashton sheepishly smiled when his mother walked into the living room. Calum watched her as her eyes took in the two boys on the couch, a knowing grin appearing on her face and Calum figured it hadn’t been hard for her to understand what was going on. Ashton’s hair was all over the place, thanks to the hands that been roaming through it and Calum had a hickey below his ear while both boys tried really hard to hide how aroused they were.

“I’m going to check on the kids first.”

“We’ll be going.” Ashton said, knowing his mother was giving them the opportunity to leave before things really got awkward.

“Okay sweetie. I’ll see you Sunday. Bye Cal, you should come by again some day.” She said, disappearing upstairs.

Ashton started giggling as soon as she was out of sight and Calum couldn’t contain himself either.

 

“Wanna go back to my place?” The words had left his mouth before he even realized it and suddenly he was very afraid of the answer. What if Ashton suddenly came to realize that what they had been doing was a mistake or whatever? What if he was pushing the boy a little too hard, after all he had told him?

“Yeah.” Ashton answered right away, getting up and pulling Calum with him.  

 

\---

 

As soon as the door fell shut behind him, Ashton grabbed his face and pushed him against the wall with his body, trapping him there and kissing him like their life depended on it; maybe it did.

The eldest positioned his leg between Calum’s and the boy couldn’t help but grind against it a bit; he felt dirty but god, did he need it.   

A little moan left his mouth as everything became way too much yet not enough and all he wanted to do right now was to take of their clothes. His hands, which had been on Ashton’s shoulders while he was being kissed because he had needed something to hold onto, went to the hem of the older boy’s shirt. His fingers brushed against the boy’s hot skin and as soon as Ashton felt it, he pulled back and lifted up his hands so Calum could take the item off and throw it to the floor.

He let his fingers travel over every inch of the boy’s chest, feeling all of his skin, leaving a trail of goose bumps there. He let his thumb move over one of the boy’s nipples and lowered his head so he could lick around it before sucking on it. He knew girls liked this, so why wouldn’t boys like it either?

The sounds Ashton gave him were enough to tell him he liked it indeed, so he moved to the other nipple and repeated the action.

 

While he was busy kissing all over the boy’s flat chest, he felt two hands tugging on his shirt and he quickly stood up straight again so Ashton could pull his shirt off.

“Let’s go upstairs.” Ashton muttered against his lips when their mouths had found each other again and they moved towards the stairs without parting.

“I don’t think this is going to work.” Calum giggled when Ashton turned them around and the raven haired boy almost tripped over a shoe that was lying in the hallway.

He quickly turned around again and ran up the stairs with Ashton following him closely.

 

As soon as he had reached the bed, he realized he wasn’t even sure how all of this worked though and suddenly he felt a little uncertain of himself. Ashton probably had more experience with men and he’d fuck up with the blonde; he couldn’t let that happen.

 

Ashton didn’t seem to notice at first, he quickly walked up to him and wrapped his arms around him, kissing him and reaching for his belt.

“Ash…” Calum whispered, almost hoping he wouldn’t hear it because he was a bit embarrassed with himself.

The blonde immediately pulled back though and expectantly watched the younger boy.

“I’ve never…” he started.

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have…”

“No that’s okay.” Calum interrupted him even though he wasn’t completely sure where he was going with that.

“I want to; I’ve just never done this before.”

“With a guy, that is…” He added.

“That’s okay.” Ashton smiled fondly at the boy. He looked so shy, it was easy to forget that Calum had been sinfully grinding against his thigh only ten minutes ago.

“We’ll go at your pace, just let me know what you’re okay with and what not.” Ashton said, kissing his cheek before placing a simple kiss on his lips.

Calum nodded before deepening the kiss, wanting to continue what they had going; he should’ve known he didn’t have to worry.

To make sure he meant it, he decided to unbuckle Ashton’s belt, pulling his skinny jeans down so he was in nothing but his boxers.

Calum noticed the big bulge in it and he grew more and more curious and it probably was for the first time in his life he actually wanted to get his mouth on another guy’s dick.

He placed his hand against the older boy’s chest, pushed him on his bed and crawled over to him.

“Can I?” he asked without taking his eyes off of the clothed dick.

“Yeah.” Ashton breathed and Calum grabbed the waistband of the boy’s boxers and pulled them down, watching as the boy’s erection sprung free.

He wrapped his hand around the boy’s dick and looked at his face to make sure he wasn’t doing anything wrong. The blonde was looking back at him though, biting his bottom lip as he watched him impatiently and Calum swore he could feel his own dick twitch.

 

He quickly lowered himself and licked at the head to get a taste and Ashton drew a sharp breath. The raven haired boy obviously knew that Ashton couldn’t wait for him to take all of him in but he also knew the boy understood he needed to take his time, so he did. He licked another few times at the head and then licked a stripe from his balls to the head.

When he finally took the tip in his mouth and softly sucked, a moan came from Ashton’s mouth, encouraging him to go on.

Of course he knew what to do, he had seen and felt girls doing it to him enough times to know how it worked but actually doing it to another boy was so different. He had to watch his teeth and it kinda hurt his jaw to keep his mouth open that far for so long but the more he took Ashton in, the more he whimpered and the more Calum enjoyed it.

The other boy’s fisted both his hair and the blanket, suppressing the urge to buck his hips up into Calum’s warm, inviting mouth.

 

He got more and more used to sucking the boy off, and after a while he decided to give the boy’s balls some attention. The boy’s dick left his mouth with a wet pop and he could feel Ashton’s curious gaze on him so he winked at him, telling him to trust him without words.

He held the boy’s cock in his hand and licked his perineum.

“Fuck.” Ashton moaned, obviously sounding surprised but Calum didn’t waste time on being proud of his pleasuring skills, instead moved so he could lightly take one of Ashton’s balls in his mouth, sucking gently.

“Fuck Cal.” The blonde said and Calum smirked, going back to the boy’s cock.

He took the boy in as far as possible - which unfortunately wasn’t as far as girls could do it in the videos - tears in his eyes and his throat fighting the urge to gag. After he had stayed there for a little while, he pulled back and started bobbing his head; he was enjoying this a lot more than he could have ever imagined.

“Shit” Ashton breathed out when Calum paused for a second to swirl his tongue around the sensitive spot just below his head before he continued bobbing in the same pace as before.

“Are you sure you’ve never done this?” the eldest giggled breathlessly and Calum hummed around his cock as an answer. Ashton moaned at that and the raven haired boy decided to do it again.

 

“I’m gonna…” Ashton warned after a little while, and even though Calum wanted to pleasure the older boy as much as possible, he wasn’t ready to let him come in his mouth so he pulled off and jerked the boy off, watching his face as he was getting close. His head was thrown back, his eyes tightly shut with furrowed brows above them and his mouth was hanging open. Some of his curls were sticking to his face and his heaving chest was red and sweaty; he looked absolutely gorgeous.

Calum flicked his hand the way he always did to himself whenever he was close and that was it; Ashton came completely undone with a loud moan of Calum’s name – or half of it, really – and the raven haired boy watched as his sperm hit his own stomach and chest.

He kept stroking the boy until he was coming down from his high. When he let go of the boy’s cock, he opened his eyes and smiled up at Calum.

 

“That was awesome.” He panted.

The raven haired boy didn’t see the smile though, for his eyes weren’t focused on his face; he was staring at the white drops on the boy’s chest, wanting to know what it tastes like.

As if Ashton had been reading his thoughts, he swept his pointer finger through some of his sperm and held it out for Calum, who gladly sucked the finger into his mouth, swallowing the tiny bit of cum. It wasn’t that different from female cum; he actually quite liked it.

The blonde watched him with lustful eyes as he hollowed his cheeks while swirling his tongue around his finger, and once he was sure Ashton’s finger was completely clean, he moved to lick the rest of his sperm off of his chest, making Ashton giggle.

 

If it hadn’t been for his own raging hard on, he would’ve laid down next to Ashton to cuddle until his alarm would wake them. Luckily, the blonde hadn’t forgotten about him yet.

“Your turn.” He chuckled once he had caught his breath. He got up so he was on his knees and told Calum to undress and lay down. He spread the boy’s leg wide enough so he could sit between them and started kissing him below his belly button, going down but avoiding his crotch at first, instead sucking a hickey into his inner thigh. Calum’s hand found its way in Ashton’s curls before he even touched his dick, holding on to it tightly and preparing himself for what he knew what was about to come.

 

When after waiting two minutes too long, Calum started whining, wanting Ashton to just cut to the chase already. He figured the blonde wanted him to beg for it, since he had made him do it before.

“Ashton please!” He whimpered, not able to hold his tongue anymore.

“Please what?” Ashton chuckled lowly.

Calum rolled his eyes, but he smiled nonetheless; he could’ve known he’d ask him to say it out loud.

“Suck my dick?” he said bluntly, throwing his arm over his face to cover his red cheeks. Ashton giggled anyways.

“Yes sir” was the last thing he said before taking at least half of Calum in without a warning.

The boy chocked out an ‘oh’ because, well, he honestly hadn’t expected that.

The eldest pressed his tongue against the underside of his cock as he moved up and down his length, quickly sucking at the tip every time he reached it before going back down. Calum had a hard time keeping still and he knew he was not going to last long at all with Ashton’s skilled mouth on his dick. 

“Ash.” He moaned when the blonde decided to play with his balls while sucking him off. Calum has never been this close this soon in his life!

He didn’t slow down though, and even though Calum wished this could go on for a bit longer, he couldn’t wait to come.

 

“Fuck I’m close.” He breathlessly told the older boy after a few mintues.

The older boy suddenly held completely still.

Their eyes met and Ashton had this expectant look in his eyes. It took Calum’s lust-clouded mind a while to figure out what he wanted.

He bucked his hips up, hitting the back of Ashton’s throat but the boy didn’t even flinch, simple waited for him to do it again. Calum looked down at him when he did it again, their eyes never leaving each other as he started fucking the blonde’s mouth.

His body was a little too tired to keep bucking up but he couldn’t stop it, it was like his mind didn’t have a say anymore. He didn’t even hear the moans that filled the room as he neared his high.

“Ash, I’m…” was all he could say, and when the boy didn’t respond, he just went for it. He jerked his hips up twice before he buried himself into Ashton’s mouth, staying still as his load filled the boy’s throat.

 

While Calum was trying to catch his breath, Ashton crawled over to him so he was hovering above him again.

“Hi.” He said, a lazy smile on his face.

“Hey.” Calum smiled back, lifting up his head the tiniest bit to kiss the other boy, tasting himself on his lips and he didn’t know he found that so hot because he never really liked it.

 

Ashton let himself fall next to Calum and placed his head on his shoulder, holding him tightly as they both felt their eyelids getting heavy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked that
> 
> TBH it wasn't easy to write so I really hope it doesn't suck

**Author's Note:**

> Come and find me on tumblr
> 
> abbypd.tumblr.com
> 
> x


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